I’m a happy person and I’ve created a life that makes me happy, but I don’t wake up “automatically” happy every day. Fifty per cent of happiness is inherited. I feel like what I inherited is more challenging than not. Part of human behavior is what was role modeled for you. I spent decades with a mother who battled with demons. Depression, anxiety, introversion, substance abuse, alcoholism, and more depression. Her secondary responses were to be angry about it and to blame others for her misery. To the extent that fifty per cent of her happiness was inherited, she would be correct, not in blaming, but in placing the control outside herself. Where we differ is in the forty to fifty per cent of happiness that is within our control. Ten per cent is attributed to environment- which I believe means current circumstances. Things beyond your control, like when you’re leaving for your dream trip to Paris but a large, powerful hurricane is coming straight at your family, friends and your house. I believe, hurricanes excluded, to a certain extent, you can change your circumstances too. Therefore, somewhere between 40-50% of your happiness is within your control.
I didn’t always know I had the power to change my happiness. I studied classical ballet, then undergraduate and graduate school for business, later, undergraduate and some graduate school in psychology. For all that tuition money, I learned many things that have helped me in my life and career, but it was only when I began to study coaching with Tony Robbins and then studied positive psychology that I realized I decide many things about my life and I don’t have to live in what shows up each day. I learned that even though I was imprinted for years with “I’m not good enough, not worthy and unlovable”, one person’s feelings don’t make it true. I can’t control what feelings show up, but I can control what I do with them-how they impact my life. I learned that with the right tools, I can change my mind, my life, my relationships and my happiness.
Maya Angelou said “When you get, give. When you learn, teach.”
What I have learned that’s most worth teaching, is how you can be happier. I work with amazing clients who feel like they’ve checked all the boxes but things haven’t worked out the way they expected, who are living under the burden of negative thoughts and habits because they had a parent who laid the rhetoric down in their heads over years and it’s still there influencing their decisions and emotions. Life took a wrong turn or several and they don’t know how to get out from under those experiences to feel joy again. They settled and don’t know how to “unsettle” and find love, joy and peace. I teach people to be happier. I work with clients who come to me carrying huge burdens about themselves and their ability to change their lives for the better. They have a spark of belief that things can be different and faith in me that I can show them the way. And that is enough.
I followed my heart to a life I love. I can teach you to do the same.
This is me in my happy place, with my happy dog and my “Happy” mug. The bamboo is a little battered from hurricane Irma but it’s still my peaceful, happy place. Or my “thotful” spot as Pooh would call it.
Have a great week! Let me know if I can help you. You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will respond within 24-48 hours. You can also message me here and I will give you a phone number or skype address. Let’s chat.
Hugs and love,
Big Change Coach, happiness seeker, writer, life strategist and creator of the Get What You Want Mindset.