Life Doesn’t Happen to You

Life doesn’t happen to you. This philosophy is one of the biggest obstacles to relationships, work, and a life you love. It’s also one of the biggest differences between the happiest and most successful people and the ones who achieve little and then complain about it. You may not even be aware this is your view of the world.

I’m just going to be honest here.

People who get what they want do not sit around talking about what went wrong, what’s standing in the way, what happened in the past that’s keeping them from getting what they want now and in the future, or why they can’t. They also do not think someone else or something else is responsible for their lives and happiness (external locus of control). People who get what they want, focus on what they want, how they’re going to get it and know they are responsible for getting it (internal locus of control). They make obstacles seem small and insignificant- challenges that propel them forward rather than cause them to stand still. Difficulties cause you to form alliances with people who know how to get through them. Obstacles pave the way for you to learn something new. And together with adverse life events, obstacles and challenges teach us that we can handle anything.

You aren’t entitled, by virtue of your magnificent birth, to anything. Neither are you alone. You have not lived through the most horrific experiences ever documented and you have not had only challenges and no good things ever happen to you. Everything you touch does not turn to shit and everything you try does not end in failure. You do not always make bad decisions and not everything in your life is bad. These are just shit sandwiches, that people who have a poor outlook, which they most likely learned from someone in their early environment, feed themselves to maintain their learned helplessness.

If you are pissed off that I’m excavating your negative outlook and magnetic declination toward what isn’t working, you may have missed the gold nugget in the last paragraph. You are not alone.

Further, you are not helpless. Do not dig your heels deeper into the obstinacy in which your feet have stood so long. It does not serve your loveliness. The only reason you are where you are, is that someone made you feel you are not worthy of better. It isn’t true. You are worthy of beauty, grace, joy, love and enduring happiness. It will not be handed to you but you can create it for yourself. And, you are not alone. I’ve been where you are. And I can tell you that lovely is much better. Everyday joy is awesome and possible.

You can get what you want. Decide that you will. Take a step. Try it, I double dog dare you.

Hugs on this amazing gift of another day to change your life,

Lisa Z.