I have many clients and friends who seem to attract narcissists like magnets. Here’s what you need to know. Excessive givers, codependents, people pleasers, and other overly nice people attract excessive takers, otherwise known as narcissists. Narcissists love people who put others first.
You may not even be aware that you’re surrounded by narcissists. You may think you’re swimming in a pond surrounded by lovely goldfish, but when you take off your clouded swim goggles, you realize they’re piranha. They slowly eat the meat off your bones. But they pretend they care about you. Telltale signs of a narcissist:
Narcissism is a spectrum. A little narcissism is helpful (adaptive). You should focus on yourself and your needs. A lot of narcissism is maladaptive. Narcissists are not capable of having healthy, lasting relationships with an absence of manipulation and control. They frequently have trouble keeping one job for long periods of time.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, DSM, which is the tool used by professionals to diagnose mental health disorders, lists the specific criteria used to identify someone, at the extreme end of the spectrum, with narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you are a giver and natural caretaker, think about whether there are people in your life that have the characteristics listed above.
What can you do to protect yourself from abusive behavior by narcissists?
Don’t swim with piranhas. You will eventually get bit.
Hugs,
Lisa Z.
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